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This blog is going to be a mess. I can already tell! Maybe
I’ll make lists to attempt to organize it.
I won’t be on the
internet next week at all, because as our team has been studying spiritual
disciplines, we have been asked to fast from food and from the internet next
week (Monday through Friday). The food fast looks more like a 25 hour fast (one
meal every 25 hours). Also we will be doing 24 hour prayer all week long. I’m
excited but a little apprehensive about next week for a couple of reasons:
- The
only time I’ve ever truly fasted was for one day and that was just a
couple of weeks ago. - I
have felt a serious need for change in both myself and my team. As we’ve
been challenged by the words and actions of Jesus, challenged by our
ministries, challenged by living in constant community, a lot of sin,
lies, complacency, impure motives and wrong ideas have been brought into
the light. And I know God is calling us to do something about it! Now is
the time do deal with this stuff. Fasting and praying next week is going
to rock a lot of our worlds.
Being here in Africa has forced me to
think about some stuff that has been on my heart for a while, but I’ve pushed
off to the side out of fear and laziness, I think. Things like:
1.What is this Kingdom thing Jesus always talks about? What
does the Kingdom of God
mean?
2. Materialism. In Jeffrey’s Bay (and all over the world),
we see the clash of wealth and poverty. It’s the age-old question everybody
wonders about. But here, I’ve been called to love the poor and the lowly, so I
do it, say a few prayers, and then go buy myself a cute African necklace and a
cup of coffee. Not that coffee and jewelry is wrong, but where do we draw the
line? It is so easy for me to block out the cries of the broken with my ipod, and
that’s not okay!
3. The words of Jesus. Holy Moly. This morning I sat down
and started reading Matthew. I got through chapter 4 and part of chapter 5
before I laid down my Bible, completely overwhelmed and thinking I’m living my
life completely wrong! I’m tempted to reassure you here that I’m being
intentionally over-dramatic, but I’m not! Read through Matthew 4 and 5, really
read it, and you’ll see how serious Jesus takes issues of the heart. It’s truly
a matter of life and death, Heaven and Hell. Jesus was not messing around.
Anyway, the list could go on of stuff I’ve been thinking
about. But instead I’ll continue with another list I started a few months ago.
I’m thankful:
26. That Jesus died on the cross to save wretched sinners
like me!
27. For a community of believers struggling through stuff
together.
28. That the Holy Spirit reveals things to us at just the
right time.
29. That African women are patient with me as I attempt to
take on a fragment of their workload!
30. For skype!
31. That God brought me here and is not letting go of this
wayward heart.
32. For people that read all my scattered thoughts and write
encouraging comments!
As you can tell, I am all over the place today! Anyways, I
won’t be online until next weekend. Maybe I’ll have some answers then! Probably
I’ll just have more questions. To be continued…